smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
