16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
