Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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