you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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