i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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