I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
