when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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