At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
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