i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
not ubering you a puppy
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
