I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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