I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
