I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
