very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
