At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
