Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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