So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
