This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How does it feel to date your dad?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize