Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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