She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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