how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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