Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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