i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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