you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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