well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
