apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
