He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's like iHOP with fire
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
