I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
nutella sex= disaster
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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