Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
