Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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