awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
