Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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