cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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