Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize