one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize