one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me