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• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, be my cock's hype man.

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• (925): View more from California

  First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.

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• (310): View more from California

  If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!

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