Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
