what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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