He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot