I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do