96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.