Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

  (1-650): View more from California

  did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet. (1-650): did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one? http://tfl.nu/1hzw
  Replies (24) Good night (8358) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much. http://tfl.nu/n8ik
  Replies (7) Good night (1940) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother http://tfl.nu/4v9d
  Replies (11) Good night (2162) Bad night (2965)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

  (718): View more from New York

  Keg backpack and a Bike

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED? (718): Keg backpack and a Bike http://tfl.nu/7afi
  Replies (4) Good night (1872) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n
  Replies (59) Good night (1017) Bad night (5439)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity http://tfl.nu/374z
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you. http://tfl.nu/171s
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (+55): View more from

  you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+55): you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works http://tfl.nu/gh4c
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos http://tfl.nu/h45n
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/knf4
  Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls http://tfl.nu/114z
  Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager. http://tfl.nu/eykt
  Replies (0) Good night (355) Bad night (277)

Randomize