Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
