so that wasnt chicken after all
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
