As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
