i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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