He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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