You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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