Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
