why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
