There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
