sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This house was built for laser tag.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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