so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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