according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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