Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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