i would punch a child for taco bell
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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