you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
