Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
