i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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