In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
