DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You made out with two different species that night
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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