I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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