By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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