That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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