I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
