he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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