Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why is your signature on my underwear?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
