Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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