Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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