Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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