Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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